This is a book about Polynesia after the cruise ship has left, the jet has flown off into the sunset, & the mai tai curtain has dropped on a dream that was more performance than reality. This first-hand narrative introduces the reader to the Cook Islands & an extraordinary array of their inhabitants: Susy No Pants who lives an uproarious life of pleasure, but never strays far from who she is or where she came from; a nuclear nomad from the Tuamotus who attempts suicide by ancient means in California`s Balboa Fun Zone, home of the chocolate-dipped banana; & French bureaucrats who concoct an elaborate charade to create an uplifting image of the Foreign Legion in Papeete, Tahiti. The author encounters missionaries, randy kings, dictators, sailors, drunk island tyrants & visionaries on remote isles where tourists seldom tread. Kernahan does not find paradise, although she admits to having looked for it.